Thursday, December 30, 2010

Our Loss is Pop's Gain

Ok, I admit I am a terrible Blogger! I havent blogged since Thanksgiving.  I know......... terrible!

And to be honest, I have sat here for several days trying to type this entry and I just cant find the words..... but I really want to do my Pop justice so I have to at least try.
So here goes......

It's Tuesday, December 14 6:30 a.m. and my house phone rings, from the info on the caller ID I immediately knew something was wrong.  My heart sank, seeing how all three of my boys were out of town, I panicked that something was wrong with one of them. 
It was my momma, she was calling to tell me that Pop, who had been in the hospital since Sunday, was doing really bad.  The doctors wanted family to be close. I got up, fixed a cup of coffee, sat in my chair, and just prayed! I prayed for my Pop and Mom Toms and for my Daddy who had been there all night.
An hour later, my phone rang again, it was momma, telling me that I needed to do whatever I could to hurry to the hospital.
And from there, the rest of the morning was chaos. 
For the next three days, myself, my Daddy, my sister and brother, my momma and sister in law sat by Pops side in the ICU room. We took shifts, going in to see Pop, together we had to make some very tough decisions.  Decisions that people should not be required to make of a loved one.  
Thursday morning I decided to go into work to relieve Momma, but by 10:30 momma called me saying I needed to come up to the hospital.  When I walked into the ICU room, Mom Toms was laying in a recliner with a wash cloth on her forehead. Pop was awake, surrounded by all his favorite people. 
Mom Toms' Blood Pressure was out of control high, she almost fainted, she was now being admitted into the hospital.  I walked over to see Pop, he was clearly in pain and letting us all know that he was unhappy of his current situation.  
This next part is especially tough for me, mainly because it's the one part of the whole week that I will carry with me for the rest of my Life.  
I walked over to Pop, got right in face, looked straight in his eyes, that seemed almost clear, and said 
Pop: looked at me and grinned, just with his eyes, but I know he was grinning at me
ME: "Do you know how much I love you?"
Pop: Still grinning with his eyes, shook his head yes! then let out a groan...
ME: "Pop, are you trying to tell me you love me too?"
Pop: Got still and shook his head yes!
Me:  "Pop, I know you love me, we all do! We all love you so much! Can you hear what I'm saying to you? Can you see me?"
Pop: shook his head yes and then he went to sleep.
Everyone said that was the most responsive he had been to everyone all day! That made me feel very special! Later that day Pop responded to David too.  I stayed the rest of the day and late into the night, to return early the next morning.  I stayed there all day Friday and thru the night. My sister and I took shifts with Pop and Mom til about 10 pm and then I went down to Mom's room and slept thru the night. Early that morning I went upstairs to check on Pop and my sis. Pop was as stable as he was the night before. I went home that afternoon, to bathe and change my clothes. My sister called and said to hurry back. By 3:00 that afternoon, we were gathered around Pop, saying our final goodbye.

  Pop is whole, he does not hurt, his legs are young and healthy, he is with Jesus.  Amen! 
I made peace with Pop leaving us one night while sitting there with him, I was on my knees praying. Praying for Jesus to come for Pop. Praying for Jesus to reveal his grace and mercy over Pop and relieve all the pain he was in. As hard as it was for me to see Pop laying there covered in equipment, I feel blessed to be holding his hand as he entered the gates of heaven.  
My Pop......... ever so proud of his name, of his family, and to be a Christian!
This was three years ago at Thanksgiving.

This summer Mom toms and Pop traveled to Minden to watch Brock play baseball. 
I remember being so proud and happy that Pop made the game!

Every year we take a family photo at christmas. Mom and Pop made sure that every year we did this, we all moaned and groaned about it every year, but the end result, we all loved.  Not this year, this year we couldn't wait to take it, for Pop.  He would have loved being right in the smack dab center of everybody!

I love you Pop! I wish I could see you one more time, to tell you something, but that something will just have to wait, because one day, my time will come and when I leave this world, I know you will be the first one waiting for me, in a golf cart with a sack of corn on the back, you'll say to me "get in Tray, we've got some ducks to feed, but first there's someone I want you to meet." And you'll drive me straight to meet Jesus!! I can't wait Pop til then....

Peace Out Hommies!

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